So. The season of Lent is upon us. That magical religious time of year where everyone 'gives up' something or starts something for 40 days leading up to Easter. It's suppose to be a time of reflection, meditation and coming closer to God.
Now, Lent (in the traditional sense) has so many rules and regulations (Sunday is basically a 'free for all' ?! and you only fast meat on Fridays are some) that most people just instead say, 'I'm going to give up soda', or 'I'm going (crash) diet for Lent'. Others do have a more spiritual approach and say 'I will read xyz of the bible', or I will fast x amount of meals.
Every year for the last 8 years I've participated in Lent, even though I am definitely NOT Catholic or of any liturgical church background. When I started, my family (being the God-fearing pentecostals that they are), looked at me with shock and awe, and (I assumed) worried that I had been pulled in by a cult. Never the less, I drudged on. Not because I wanted to be shocking but I believe that everyone should set aside time in every year to re-evaluate and change where necessary. That being said, I've 'lent-ed' (if that is a word), just about every possible thing known to man. TV, radio, diet (went completely vegan one year), and sodas (which ended up lasting about 3 years). One year I did all caffeine and processed sugar products - that was the year I realized over 90% of my closest friends all have birthdays during lent (God's little form of irony I guess).
But this year... I attended my first Ash Wednesday service. It was held at my place of work and the Campus Minister presided. She is AWESOME. One of the most interesting, wise and kind women I have ever met. She made a joke in her speech about 'crash diets' and 'soda', but then she issued a challenge. A challenge to take what ever 'it' was, that is standing between you and your relationship with God to give up that for lent. And not necessarily 'give it up' but rather 'give it over' to God.
She makes a valid argument. I have proven time and time again that I have the discipline to 'give up' something, because I always know there is an 'end'. But what if ... I 'gave over' something (pause to let that sink in) The one and only thing the Still Small Voice brought up in that moment of prayer was something you cant see or physically stop. Because it was an internal response, with how I view a specific area of my life.
It's been really hard. REALLY HARD. And it's only been 3 days. I had already made up my mind on other things that I would 'sacrifice'. Like Netflix or soda... but giving over something of/in my heart... WHOA... wait God... that's... nope... I cant... it's too hard. Then a small voice said... just try. So each morning I wake up and I try to give over.. and let me just say these last 3 days have pretty much been hell. At work, at home... it's just been rough and I'll be honest, I've never felt more alone. But this is where faith and belief have to come in that there will be something better at the end of this journey. I will be happier with who I am and the world around me. That I will find people and peace in the ordinary and that I will learn what it truly means to 'love myself' for who I am.
So here's to Lent... may it do more than just slim our waistlines or bulk our muscles, but may it open our hearts not only to God but to those in need around us.
The End.
