Gratitude

Today is Thanksgiving. It's not how I imagined it to be. My original plan was to go to TN to visit friends. Then I got sick. So, I stayed here in NC.

My family has been through a lot lately.  Today, for the first time in 10 years, both sides of my family sat and broke bread at the same table. This is a miracle.  People have been saying things that they are thankful for, I'm thankful for life. I'm thankful for the laughter of my nephew. I'm thankful for having a sister that knows me better than I know myself. I'm thankful for a Mema who would open her home to anyone and can cook a meal fit for a king. I'm thankful for a Mom who still tries, even when she may not get everything right. I'm thankful for a Dad who says I'm beautiful all time.

Because of all these blessings, I realize now I'm worth more than a lot. I'm worth more than what the scales say. I'm worth more than how fast I can run (or walk). I'm worth more than how one guy can make me feel like I'm not 'good enough'. I'm worth more than the text messages, phone calls or facebook posts that I get (or dont get). I'm worth more than just my job.

I'm realizing I'm worth more because I'm fearfully & wonderfully made. Because God made me in His image. Because even though I make mistakes, say and do the wrong things, I try. I try with open heart that is learning to love and to have the copasity to love others.  I've been alone a very long time. Love is not something that comes easy to me. So when I finally do try, it's hard, really hard. This change is taking time and I'm learning to be patient with myself. That is what have gratitude for this Thanksgiving season, and while it's tough, I wouldnt change this challenge for the world.